by Kenny Burchard | Jun 18, 2018 | Biblical Studies, Humor, New Testament, Old Testament, Politics, Satire, Scripture
Below, you will find every text in the entire Bible (Old Testament and New), that definitively and substantively directs the United States of America in how it, as a sovereign nation, is to construct its immigration laws. I would be interested to hear in the comments...
by Kenny Burchard | Nov 16, 2017 | Humor, Satire
DURHAM, NC – For many people, the Bible can be an overwhelming and intimidating book. For pastors who stand and teach from the Bible every Sunday, the task can be daunting. How can one person work through all that material, and how can people finally get to a place...
by Kenny Burchard | Oct 10, 2017 | General, Humor, Satire
Grand Rapids, MI – A recent survey of over 10,000 Calvinists confirms what all Calvinists have long believed to be true, but for which they now have undisputed, quantitative evidence: Calvinists think Calvin is awesome. In a recent online survey conducted by the...
by Kenny Burchard | Jan 4, 2017 | Satire
Amarillo, TX – Sources confirmed today that Sandy Friesen, a member of Amarillo’s Southside Baptist Church, has finally perfected both the body language and the facial expression that indicates actual trust in God. “For years I’ve heard my pastor use phrases like...
by Kenny Burchard | Oct 27, 2016 | Satire
Fresno, CA – The sound of crushing metal, shattering glass, agonizing screams, and the howl of first-responder sirens shook a small neighborhood in North Fresno on Thursday morning. “It was really tragic,” said Maria Vasquez, a local resident who saw...
by Kenny Burchard | Mar 17, 2016 | General, Humor, Satire
FARWELL, TX – The entire varsity football team at Farwell Christian Academy, a private K-12 Christian School and many of the school’s 37 high school students are reeling after losing their most recent playoff game to Farwell High School (Farwell’s...
by Kenny Burchard | Mar 15, 2016 | General, Satire
Yorba Linda, CA – The sound of higher praise is filling the house at Crossroads Christian Center in Yorba Linda these days. Praise in a higher key-signature, that is, thanks to the hard work an dedication of renowned Christian vocal coach Tim Speers. Speers was...
by Kenny Burchard | Mar 14, 2016 | General, Satire
COMMERCE CITY, CO – After years of debating whether or not the gifts of the Holy Spirit were of any relevance to the contemporary Church, pastor Zane Trimble of Mountain Christian Center has provided what he believes is incontrovertible evidence that they are no...
by Kenny Burchard | Mar 12, 2016 | General, Satire
Hemet, CA – Four Sundays ago, Rev. Carl Swenson, the founding pastor of First Assembly, one of Hemet’s largest churches, told his congregation that it would be three Sundays before they would gather together again for worship. An audio recording of the sermon revealed...
by Brad Blocksom | Dec 16, 2015 | Satire
Pastors beware! The Bible is a very dangerous book. You need to consider the implications carefully before encouraging your congregation to read the Bible for themselves. If they start reading the Bible on their own, God may get a hold of their heart. They may begin...
by Able Baker | Dec 7, 2015 | Satire
I think we are all familiar with the Ten Commandments. Our country doesn’t even want them up in our public schools, courthouses or anywhere for that matter. I think I have a solution for that. These old commandments are somewhat offensive and a bit archaic for a...
by Able Baker | Aug 24, 2015 | Humor, Satire
Institutional big box churches bother me to no end. I wanted to share ten reasons with you why I stopped going. 10: A Pastor at a church we we used to go to had passionate opinions and he shared them without consulting me. 9: The Pastor at one church we visited for a...
by Able Baker | Aug 15, 2015 | Satire
“…when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven with his mighty angels in flaming fire, inflicting vengeance on those who do not know God and on those who do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus. They will suffer the punishment of eternal destruction, away from...
by Able Baker | Jul 27, 2015 | Satire
*this is satire…please remember read and interact with the comments below for more understanding. Okay so the confederate flag offends people and because of that our government has decided it wants to ban it. Here are some offensive scriptures that the federal...
by Able Baker | Apr 28, 2015 | Satire
Among our church board the topic of Church attendance has been a big discussion lately. We have read every book on the subject. Though books like Purpose Driven Church, Becoming a Contagious Christian, and Sticky Church all have their good points we have found that...
by Able Baker | Apr 27, 2015 | Satire
When my wife and I began sending our children to public school it was a tough decision. Several prominent Christian leaders and friends promoted homeschool as if it went hand in hand with the Gospel. But Abbe and I decided that the gospel wasn’t really that important....
by Able Baker | May 2, 2013 | Satire
Before I get to my thoughts concerning the issue of fat people and the church I should begin by making it clear that the bible is overwhelmingly against the lust of food and those who practice such wickedness. The activity of gluttony is a sin. (Phil. 3:19, Prov....
by Able Baker | Jan 30, 2013 | Satire
1. They are safe. Just figure out who the most popular celebrity bible teacher is among your congregation and download his or her sermons. Go for his or her oldest stuff first then no one will catch on. Try to find all the material you can, books, videos, devotionals...
